


Finding Yourself

by Xaviers_protege



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And Stucky, Because Asgard, Because Tony, But not explicit!, Daddy Issues, Everyone loves Hela, Except Odin, Gen, Hela loves everyone, Insecurity, Loki loves Hela, Odin's A+ Parenting, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Probably Pepperoni, Racism, Rape/Non-con Elements, There will be ships, Thor Is a Good Bro, because Loki, because i love them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 10:36:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2504759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xaviers_protege/pseuds/Xaviers_protege
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki found out what he was before the events of Thor. Since then, he has had several children, all of whom were condemned by Odin as monsters. Loki, having had enough of the mistreatment of his children, sends his daughter, Hela, to another realm. Here, she meets the Avengers who do their best to protect her whilst Loki searches for his child. Will Odin find her, or will Loki show Odin that no one messes with his children?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing

“Mama!” A three year old cried with extreme relief in her voice. She held out her arms to her mother, her tiny fingers forming fists in an attempt to get him to pick her up. “Mama.” Tears fell from her eyes, like tiny crystals falling to the ground.

“Oh, Hela.” The child’s mother gasped, immediately rushing to her to hold her in his arms. Loki Odinson clutched his daughter desperately, burying his head in her tiny neck, breathing in her scent. “Mama is here now, child. There is no need to worry.” He lifted his head to look at his brother who was stood by the closed doorway, anxiously checking to see if the coast was clear. “Did Uncle Thor take good care of you?” He asked her gently.

“Yes, Mama. Uncle Thor is nice.” She heard her mama sigh in relief. She had missed his so much. “Why did you leave me, Mama?” Hela’s voice was tiny and sad.

“No, no, Hela. I didn’t leave. They took you from me. They wouldn’t let me keep you.” He promised. He stroked her black hair, smoothing down the few curls that stuck out strangely. He kissed her cheek and glared at Thor. The blonde male averted his eyes in shame.

Thor clenched his hand into a fist. “Loki, we don’t have much time.”

Loki looked Hela in her eyes as a tear fell from his own. “Look, darling. They are going to take you away from me, again. Uncle Thor and I are going to do all we can to stop this from happening, but it will happen. We are not strong enough to stop your grandfather.” Hela’s look of confusion hurt his heart as if a dagger had pierced his flesh. He reached into a pouch that he had brought with him and brought out a green sphere. “When they come, I want you to take this and think of your favourite bedtime story.” He told her. However, before she could reply, he quickly said, “don’t tell me, darling. I can’t know.”

“What about you, Mama?” Hela asked quietly.

“I will-” Loud bangs came from behind the closed door and Thor took a defensive stance, Mjolnir in his hands, ready. “Don’t worry about us, darling. Just remember to keep safe and don’t use magic. I mean it, Hela. _No magic_.”

Loki ran to his brother’s side, green wisps of magic bursting from his fingers. The door gave way and there stood Odin, fury written all over his face. He took several slow steps forward.

“Hela, now!” Her mama shouted at her. The little girls squeezed her eyes shut and thought of the story that she knew her mama loved so much.

The green sphere glowed brightly, enveloping the child in a green haze of magic. It disappeared as quickly as it showed and the three year old was no longer there. Odin shouted at his younger son. “What have you done!?”

Loki simply cried.


	2. Lose one, Find another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is having trouble getting through to Bucky, though Tony doesn't seem to have that problem. However, Steve can help another lost soul who may, in turn, help him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. You should probably understand that I have incorporated my headcanon that Bucky is left handed.  
> 2\. Also, this is an AU in which Loki did allow the Jotuns to enter Asgard, but he did not go coo-coo for coco pops, or invade Midgard. It was Nebula instead. Because who doesn't love badass Nebula.

Steve sighed in exasperation as Bucky stared at the plate of food, unseeing. “Please, Buck. You’ve got to eat.” He begged uselessly. He sat next to his traumatised best friend, his fingertips gently touching the flesh arm. “Come on. You haven’t eaten for three days now.” He was only met with cold silence. Steve gritted his teeth to stop the tears from falling.

Groaning, he stood up and rubbed his eyes in frustration. He had really thought that he could help his friend-turned-assassin-turned-friend recover from HYDRA’s abuse and conditioning. He thought that the old Bucky would remember him, like on the Helicarrier, when he had triggered some form of a memory in Bucky. He had, unfortunately, underestimated the extent of the conditioning.

It had been three months since the breakdowns of SHIELD and HYDRA and Steve, (with Sam and Natasha’s help of course), had tried to find the Winter Soldier. They looked in every known HYDRA facility, searched every known SHIELD base, and still, it was Bucky who had found them. He turned up just as Sam had suggested they give up. He was drenched in rain water and had stood stiffly in front of the trio, like a drowned puppy.

It had only been four days since he returned to the tower with them.

“Capsicle.” An obnoxious voice came.

“What do you want, Tony?” The blonde asked. He looked back towards Bucky, who was still staring at the plate. The genius did not reply, but simply made his way over to the ex-assassin. He sat down on his left, and, with a softness that was not synonymous with Tony Stark, took a hold of the metal arm. “Tony, what the hell are you doing?” Steve asked, confused and outraged by Tony’s actions.

Bucky complied with the engineer with no hesitation. His gaze did not leave the food. “Hey, Terminator. Look at me.” Tony said his voice just as gentle as his touch. Steve hadn’t notice the tools that he had brought with him and was becoming quite enraged as Tony began to tinker with the metal appendage.

“Tony! You can’t just start-”

“Shut up, Golden Wonder.” He interrupted. “Look, the way I see it, the Soviets fucked up this arm pretty good. They somehow managed to surgically attach the nerve endings to the metal, so John Silver here can actually feel the metal rusting with every second. This thing ma y look advanced on the outside, but it is incredibly basic. I mean, come on! I was building things like this since I was seven years old. This thing isn’t even waterproof. I, being the amazing friend I am, am going fix the wiring in here so that it relieves some of the pain, and then I am going to build a completely new, awesome, waterproof arm.”

Steve gaped for a while, surprised at the generosity. “Thank you, really, but…you can’t just – _fiddle_ \- with people’s arms without permission.”

Tony simply smirked and wiped his hands on his jeans in vain as he finished. “Et voila.”

Bucky’s blue eyes blinked and he lifted his arm a few times. “Thank you.” He rasped out. He picked up the fork that was beside the plate and began to eat the cold food slowly. Steve breathed out in relief.

“I think I’m gonna just…” He made a gesture indicating that he needed to leave. He couldn’t stay here any longer.

-

Steve was halfway to his room when he was distracted by a faint sobbing noise. When Tony had invited the Avengers to stay he had given them each an entire floor to themselves. It seems a bit wasteful to Steve, but he could hardly complain. It was more than he had ever had before the war. The blonde slowly made his way closer to the noise, on guard in case it was dangerous.

What he found was the opposite of dangerous.

A three year old girl was crying in one of the empty bathrooms, her black hair mussed up and her pale skin blotchy and she was red around her black eyes.

“Oh my God.” He whispered. The girl noticed him and immediately tried to back away in fear. “No, hey, hey. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m Steve…what’s your name?” He held out his hands to show that he wasn’t someone to fear.

“Where’s Mama?” The girl asked quietly. She had a strange accent; it was obvious she wasn’t from America, let alone New York. “Mama…” She started sobbing again.

Now, Steve, who can barely stand to see an adult cry, couldn’t help but scoop the black-eyes child into his arms and rock and soothe her. “It’s okay. We’ll find your mama.” He promised. “What’s your name?”

“Hela.” She sniffed. “Mama was trying to save me. He said Grandfather wanted to hurt me.” She showed Steve a green sphere, oblivious to his shocked and confused emotions that were displayed on his face. “Mama said to think of a story and I could only remember his bestest story that Uncle Thor told us about his ban-ish-ment.” She drew out the word, her face scrunching up as she tried to pronounce it. “Mama said that it made him happy to see how much Uncle Thor learned.”

“Your Uncle is Thor?” Steve asked, surprised. Hela nodded proudly. “He’s a friend of mine.” He told her.

“Really?” She squealed.

“Yeah. He helped save the planet when evil aliens invaded.” He brushed some hair out of her eyes and wiped the remnants of her tears from her face. “He was very brave, just like you have to be now until we find your Mama. What is… _his_ name?”

“Mama is mama. Uncle Thor calls him Loki, though.” She replied, seemingly confused by that fact.

“Loki, huh. I suppose I should have known.” He chuckled quietly. After Thor had left when taking Nebula and the Tesseract to Asgard, Steve and the other Avengers had found it quite prudent to brush up on their Norse Mythology, even if Thor had disproved them.

“Mama said he would find me.” Hela admitted quietly.

“Then we’ll have to make sure your well looked after until he gets here, won’t we?” He grinned down at her and picked her up into his arms. “I’ll show you to the TV. It should keep you occupied for a while.”

“Can you read me a story, please?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fall-out of the Prologue. Odin is a dick. Thor is awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter. Hope you enjoy it.  
> Little side note, however. I was going to make this Post- Thor:TDW, but I wanted Frigga to be alive because of adorable scenes in the future. So, Malekith never happened. Also, Thor's banishment lasted until the events of the Avengers since Loki's head was not, in fact, a bag of cats.

“Time and time again, you do this, Loki!” Odin’s usual calm façade was replaced with an intense fury. “I try to fix your _indiscretions_ , in the hope that you would at least learn from your mistakes. You have proved me wrong each time.”

“Mistakes!?” Loki screeched in reply. “They are my children. It does not matter in which the circumstances they were conceived, but no child of mine will ever be known as a _mistake._ ” Thor was stood beside Loki, his blue eyes wide in fear and shock of his brother’s words. “You created the mistake, _father_.” He practically spat the word.

Odin was too enraged to comprehend that Loki spoke to him. He paced in front of the two princes, shaking his head and gripping Gungnir tightly. “If you were more inclined to the female form, then we would be more equipped to deal with situations such as this. However, since you choose to be the one to spread your legs for every man that passes your fancy, I am forced to take more drastic measures.”

Loki laughed incredulously. “Every man that - I am not a whore, Father. If I am, then it is only because you made me. Might I remind you that it was not my decision to bed Svaðilfari, but an order, given by yourself.”

The All-father stopped pacing and stared at Loki. “You are the one who caused the problem in the first place. It was only right that you use your…assets to resolve the state of affairs. Do not pretend it was so difficult for you.”

“Father, you are not being reasonab-” Thor tried to interject, but Odin’s wrath turned to him.

“And _you._ ” He hissed. “I should banish you again. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that I should not stand back again and watch as you harm my niece as you did my nephews. I was thinking that I should protect my brother and his child from whatever horror you plan on inflicting on them after all these years of my inaction.” The elder prince glared at his father, subconsciously stepping closer to Loki, who, also instinctively, held an arm out to him.

“It seems I have raised two rebels. I should throw you to the dungeons, or perhaps I should send you back to Jotunheim, Loki.” The single eye of Odin stared down the younger male, making sure that Loki knew the threat was not idle.

The younger prince almost shook from the mix of emotions of fear, anger and devastation. “You’re just going to throw me away? Like I mean nothing to you.” Tears filled his eyes. He scoffed. He was so tired of crying. All he wanted was to have his little girl back into his arms. “I’m a better parent than you have ever been.”

Odin raised his hand, as if to strike Loki, but Thor quickly stepped between them to take the blow. As soon as flesh collided with flesh, a shocked silence reigned. The guards at the grand entrance of the Throne Room were perturbed by the King’s display of violence towards his sons, who were outraged themselves. “My son…” Odin said slowly and quietly. He took a deep breath and turned around, making his way back to his throne. “Leave me. Your punishments shall be decided soon, but in the meant time, neither of you are to leave the Palace, nor are you to handle weapons of any sort or interact with anyone but your mother and I.” He sat exhausted on the royal seat.

The two princes left quickly. Thor walked quickly to his chambers and Loki rushed to keep up with him. “Thor! Thor, come on, please. Stop, Thor-”

“What, Loki!?” The elder asked impatiently, stopping in his path to glare at his younger brother.

Said brother shuffled nervously for a moment before opening his mouth to reply. “I…know I don’t say this much, and I always seem to act like a, as Volstagg and Fandral frequently put it, ‘ _klag tispe’_ , but I really do appreciate what you did for Hela and I.” Thor’s eyes softened and he sighed. “She’s my world, and you’re my brother…I just wanted her to be your world, too.”

“Loki. I would have done anything for Hela. I would have done it for you. I just cannot stand father’s bigotry. He banished me because of my act of war against the Jotuns, and yet he’s willing to harm his grandchildren because of their illegitimacy and conception. So what if you are _argr_? I have learned from the mortals that we cannot persecute the individuals because of what they are. You cannot help that you fell in love with another man. I realise that now.” He put his hand on Loki’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry that father hit because of me.” It was barely a whisper.

Thor laughed. “I would take a hundred blows for you, brother.” He pulled Loki into a tight embrace, hoping to comfort him. “Come. We must go back to our chambers unless we wish to anger father further.”


End file.
